Confined Diplomacy
I have been sliding by for a while now, on a plain as the Nirvana song goes. I’m under direct assault from many different sides, financially, professionally, my wife and finally, this new dog that likes to chew everything to shreds.This dog is truly cunning and downright ruthless in her approach to her selected targets. She always probes for weaknesses prior to any engagement. In fact, I’m astonished to find that she seems to be familiar with the battle tactics employed by the Sioux at Little Bighorn. Her foes stand no chance going in.
I knew her tendencies but, last week I made the fatal mistake of leaving her unattended in the house while I went to the bathroom. In the 90 seconds I was out of sight she decided the sofa was as vile an object as she had ever seen and launched a devastating blitzkrieg attack that left the sofa, well, defeated with no question. Heaps of pristine white batting from the now annihilated cushions littered the living room floor telling the story of the battle. Her pride in this piece of work was evident as I watched her tail wave wildly from side to side.
She clearly still had the adrenalin rush going from this her latest kill when she glanced up to se me standing there in the hall with my mouth gapping open. When I shot her my patented look of death, she cowered and went for the door. She knew I was at Defcon 1 and the full nuclear package was probably warm and ready to fly.
She flinched first though.
I stood down.
Thus go the diplomatic missions at my house.
posted by Knot @ 2:24 PM
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